I’m Getting in on the Ground Floor

August 17, 2019

I received this letter from my  friend and financial adviser, Phil Auchincloss, who is very  good at steering me to really good deals.

Dear Warren,

I can now let you in on the well-kept secret that Greenland is now in play.

My new syndicate wants to beat the Trump administration to the bargaining table. Look at these wonderful investment figures.  Population of only 58,000 people. No pesky immigrants here. The present Greenland government receives a $500 million subsidy from the Danes. We certainly can cut this off and save a ton of money.

The area of this island country is 836, 300 square miles making it our largest state. Unfortunately it is 83% water (ice) so global warming is a real threat.

The last price mentioned  from the USA for Greenland was $100 million dollars circa 1945.  The Danes declined the offer. Carrying this forward with 3% GDP growth per year yields $8.4 billion dollars at present value.

Overall we could build a wall around Greenland to keep out emigrants.  Also it would keep in the natives so we’d have labor for our mines.

I believe we could get it at a 20% discount from the $8.4 billion.  Who is going to bid against us?  My commission is a small 10% of which I could kick back some to you.

What a buy . . .

A melting island

No place for any more golf courses

Make a great gambling destination

Not only would America (Trump) own the most famous island but also the largest too.

Send your check for $10,000,000 immediately to my Nigerian banker,  You will be in on the ground floor of a terrific investment.  If you don’t believe me ask Donald Trump who will give you the real news.  He is 100% reliable never having admitted to a lie.



Best regards,

Philip S. Auchincloss



Leave a Comment


Join us in supporting the arts - Consider a gift to UNCSA Learn more